Overview: When Destruction Meets Connection
The Tower and Two of Cups create one of the most psychologically complex pairings in tarot - where the sudden shattering force of crisis collides with the delicate architecture of human connection. This is not a gentle meeting of energies. The Tower, standing as the sixteenth Major Arcana, represents catastrophic change, the destruction of false structures, and the lightning-bolt moment when illusions crumble. The Two of Cups speaks to partnership, mutual attraction, emotional bonding, and the sacred agreement between two souls. When these cards appear together, they signal that relationships will be tested by fire, connections will either break or be forged stronger through crisis, and the truth of partnership will be revealed through upheaval.
This combination asks the profound question: What remains when everything falls apart? In the context of relationships - romantic, professional, or spiritual - this pairing suggests that sudden crisis will expose the authentic foundation beneath surface harmony. The Tower's destructive energy doesn't discriminate; it shatters what is false regardless of how beautiful it appeared. When directed toward the Two of Cups' domain of connection, it means partnerships built on illusion, convenience, or unspoken resentment will collapse. Yet paradoxically, this same destructive force can forge bonds of extraordinary strength between those who face crisis together.
The key to understanding this combination lies in recognizing that The Tower doesn't destroy what is real - it only removes what was never sustainable. The Two of Cups represents genuine emotional exchange, balanced reciprocity, and authentic connection. When crisis strikes this domain, those relationships rooted in truth may be tested severely but ultimately emerge transformed and stronger. Those built on false premises will simply cease to exist.
Symbolism and Visual Elements
The Tower card traditionally shows a tall structure struck by lightning, with figures falling from its heights as flames erupt and foundations crumble. This is the moment of catastrophic revelation, where what was hidden becomes violently apparent. The crown at the tower's peak - representing human ego and false sovereignty - is blasted away. The falling figures symbolize the collapse of old identities and certainties. The lightning itself is divine intervention, truth that cannot be denied or controlled.
The Two of Cups presents an entirely different visual narrative: two figures face each other, cups raised in mutual offering. Between them often appears the caduceus of Hermes, symbol of balanced communication and healing. A lion's head crowns this symbol, representing the strength found in emotional vulnerability and authentic connection. The figures stand on equal ground, suggesting reciprocity and mutual respect. The entire scene radiates harmony, balance, and the sacred moment when two separate beings recognize themselves in each other.
When we overlay these images in our mind's eye, the tension becomes visceral. Imagine that harmonious meeting of cups occurring as lightning strikes nearby, or those two figures maintaining their connection even as the ground beneath them fractures. This visual synthesis reveals the combination's core meaning: connection maintained or destroyed by crisis, partnerships tested by forces beyond their control, and the revelation of what bonds are authentic versus which were merely convenient.
The alchemical marriage suggested by the Two of Cups - the union of opposites, the balancing of masculine and feminine energies - meets the Tower's ultimate test. Will this union survive the lightning strike? Or was it one of the false structures destined to fall? The answer depends entirely on whether the connection was built on bedrock truth or shifting sand.
Core Meaning: Crisis as Relationship Crucible
At its essence, The Tower and Two of Cups combination speaks to relationships undergoing catastrophic testing. This is the partnership that faces sudden unemployment, unexpected illness, betrayal revealed, or external crisis that exposes internal weaknesses. The Tower's energy doesn't create these weaknesses - it merely reveals them with brutal clarity. The Two of Cups domain of connection becomes the arena where destruction plays out.
This combination frequently appears when partnerships have been operating on autopilot, coasting on momentum rather than actively choosing each other daily. Couples who stopped truly seeing each other years ago. Business partnerships held together by contracts rather than shared vision. Friendships maintained by habit rather than genuine affinity. The Tower's lightning strike doesn't discriminate - it exposes all partnerships to the same question: Is this connection authentic, or merely convenient?
Yet there's a less obvious but equally powerful interpretation: partnerships forged in crisis. Sometimes The Tower and Two of Cups appear not as destruction of existing connection, but as the sudden, intense bonding that occurs when two people face catastrophe together. Survivors of shared trauma often form bonds of extraordinary depth precisely because the crisis burned away all superficiality. There's no time for games, pretense, or social masks when the building is literally on fire. The connections formed in those moments can be profoundly authentic.
The timing matters significantly. If these cards appear in a reading about an existing relationship, expect testing. If they appear when asking about future connections, they may signal meeting someone during a period of personal upheaval, or forming a bond specifically designed to navigate crisis together. The Two of Cups' promise of partnership remains valid, but it will be a partnership tempered by fire, tested by circumstances, and proven through adversity rather than ease.
In Love and Relationships
For Singles
When The Tower and Two of Cups appear for someone single, they suggest that meaningful connection will emerge from crisis or chaos. This might mean meeting someone during a period of personal upheaval - perhaps after a job loss, during a major life transition, or following another relationship's dramatic end. The Tower's energy ensures you won't be in a comfortable, stable place when this connection forms. You might meet this person while you're still picking up pieces, making the encounter feel poorly timed or overwhelming.
Yet this "wrong timing" is precisely the point. The Two of Cups connection that forms while your Tower is collapsing will be built on seeing each other authentically rather than presenting polished versions of yourselves. There's no opportunity to perform stability you don't feel or project certainty you haven't achieved. This person will meet you in your truth, and the bond formed there has unusual staying power precisely because it wasn't built on illusion.
Alternatively, this combination can indicate that the path to new love requires the complete destruction of old patterns. Perhaps you've been repeating the same relationship dynamics for years. The Tower suggests those patterns will be shattered - possibly through a particularly intense final relationship that burns so bright and crashes so hard that you can never return to that way of being. The Two of Cups emerges only after the Tower has done its work, suggesting the new partnership will be fundamentally different from anything you've known.
Be prepared for intensity. The Two of Cups appearing with The Tower won't manifest as casual dating or gradual getting-to-know-you. This is the person you meet and feel immediate, almost alarming recognition toward. The connection forms fast, burns bright, and demands authenticity from the start. Whether it lasts depends entirely on whether both parties are willing to be seen fully and continue choosing each other even when the initial crisis passes.
For Established Relationships
In existing partnerships, The Tower and Two of Cups is often a warning card, though not without hope. It signals that crisis is coming or already present, and this crisis will test whether your connection is built on authentic foundation or convenient illusion. The nature of the crisis varies: external pressure like financial collapse, internal revelation like infidelity discovered, or the slow-building pressure of resentment finally erupting into confrontation.
The crucial question this combination poses: Have you been truly seeing each other, or merely coexisting? The Tower has no patience for relationships maintained by inertia. If you've been avoiding difficult conversations, ignoring growing disconnection, or staying together for reasons other than genuine desire to be together, the Tower's lightning will expose this gap between appearance and reality. The relationship may not survive, and if it doesn't, the Two of Cups suggests this ending, while painful, ultimately allows both parties to seek connections more aligned with their authentic selves.
However, if your partnership has genuine foundation - if beneath whatever crisis emerges there exists real love, mutual respect, and commitment to each other's growth - The Tower can actually strengthen your bond. Couples who survive catastrophe together often report feeling more connected afterward precisely because crisis burned away pretense and forced radical honesty. You'll see sides of each other that comfortable times never reveal. You'll make choices about staying or leaving based on truth rather than fantasy.
The outcome isn't predetermined. The Tower destroys what is false; the Two of Cups represents the potential for authentic connection. If your relationship has been authentic, expect to emerge from this period transformed but together, with a bond tempered by fire and proven through adversity. If it's been built on false premises, expect the structure to collapse - painful, but ultimately liberating for both parties.
After Breakups
Following a breakup, The Tower and Two of Cups suggests the ending itself was a Tower moment - sudden, shocking, and revealing. Even if the relationship deteriorated gradually, the final break likely felt catastrophic. This combination indicates the connection itself wasn't the problem; rather, the structure you'd built around it was fundamentally flawed. Perhaps you'd been trying to force incompatible life paths into alignment, or maintaining connection despite fundamental value mismatches.
The Two of Cups' presence suggests the love was real, which makes the Tower's destruction particularly painful. This wasn't a relationship you simply outgrew or lost interest in; it was something genuine that nonetheless couldn't continue in its existing form. The Tower ensures you can't go back to what was, even if you wanted to. The old structure is completely destroyed, and attempting to rebuild it identically would only summon another lightning strike.
For some, this combination indicates the relationship will eventually reform, but only after both parties have been completely transformed by the Tower's destruction. Months or years later, when you've both rebuilt your lives separately, a new connection might emerge - same people, completely different dynamic. This new bond would bear little resemblance to what came before, built on who you've both become rather than who you were.
More commonly, The Tower and Two of Cups after a breakup suggests the lesson is about recognizing authentic connection versus sustainable partnership. You can genuinely love someone and still be fundamentally incompatible. The Two of Cups validates the reality of what you felt; The Tower validates the necessity of the ending. Both truths coexist, and integrating them allows you to seek future partnerships that combine genuine connection with sustainable structure.
In Career and Finance
Job and Workplace
In career readings, The Tower and Two of Cups often indicates dramatic disruption to professional partnerships or collaborative relationships. This might be a business partnership dissolving explosively, a trusted colleague suddenly leaving or being fired, or a workplace crisis that reveals who truly has your back versus who was merely professionally friendly. The Tower's energy ensures this won't be a gradual shift - it will be sudden and probably shocking.
Pay attention to which partnerships intensify during crisis versus which dissolve. The Two of Cups represents authentic professional alignment - colleagues who share your values, partners who complement your working style, mentors who genuinely invest in your development. When The Tower strikes your professional world, these authentic connections often strengthen even as superficial ones evaporate. The person who helps you network at conferences might disappear when you lose your job; the person who actually respects your work might double down on collaboration.
This combination can also indicate meeting a significant professional partner during a period of career crisis. Perhaps you're fired, and through that upheaval meet someone who becomes a business partner. Or you're struggling with a project when someone enters your professional orbit offering exactly the collaboration you need. The Tower suggests you won't be in a position of strength when this connection forms, which paradoxically creates conditions for authentic partnership rather than hierarchical relationship.
For those considering business partnerships, this combination is a warning to stress-test the relationship before formal commitment. How does this person respond to crisis? When money is tight, pressure is high, and things aren't going according to plan, do they reveal character you respect or tendencies that concern you? The Two of Cups can represent a genuine partnership, but The Tower insists it must be proven through adversity, not just assumed during good times.
Financial Matters
Financially, The Tower and Two of Cups suggests sudden monetary crisis affecting relationships or partnerships affecting your finances. This could be a joint investment that crashes spectacularly, a business partner making decisions that jeopardize shared resources, or your personal financial crisis revealing which relationships were based on what you could provide versus who you are.
The Tower has particular relevance for shared finances - joint bank accounts, co-signed loans, business partnerships with financial commitments. When lightning strikes these arrangements, the Two of Cups asks: Was this financial entanglement based on authentic trust and aligned values, or convenience and optimism? Financial crisis reveals character. How someone responds when money is threatened tells you more truth about them than years of prosperous times.
Interestingly, this combination can also indicate financial recovery through partnership, but only after complete collapse. The Tower must first destroy whatever financial structure existed - perhaps bankruptcy, devastating loss, or business failure. Only after this complete destruction does the Two of Cups partnership emerge, offering a path forward built on entirely different principles. This new financial collaboration will be more modest, more realistic, and paradoxically more sustainable because it's built on truth rather than fantasy.
For those in financial partnerships currently under stress, this combination suggests the situation will get worse before it gets better. The Tower's lightning hasn't finished its work. Whatever structures you're trying to salvage will likely collapse completely. The question isn't whether you can prevent the destruction, but whether the partnership itself - the Two of Cups connection - is authentic enough to survive financial catastrophe and rebuild together afterward.
In Health and Wellness
Physical Health
In health readings, The Tower and Two of Cups can indicate sudden health crisis that impacts relationships or reveals the true quality of your support network. Serious diagnosis, unexpected injury, or dramatic health event functions as The Tower, while the Two of Cups represents the partnerships - medical provider relationships, caregiver dynamics, or romantic partners - that are tested by this crisis.
Health catastrophe reveals who remains present versus who withdraws. The partner who promised "in sickness and in health" faces the reality of that commitment when The Tower strikes. Medical professionals who seemed competent during routine care reveal their true skill during crisis. Friends who were reliably available for happy hour show whether they're available for difficult hours in hospital waiting rooms.
This combination also speaks to health partnerships forged through crisis. Support groups for people with the same diagnosis create Two of Cups connections specifically because they're formed in the crucible of The Tower. These bonds often have unusual depth precisely because they're not based on superficial compatibility but shared experience of catastrophe. Fellow survivors understand without explanation, creating connection that bypasses years of typical relationship development.
For chronic illness or ongoing health challenges, The Tower and Two of Cups suggests a dramatic shift in how you navigate your condition, likely involving a significant partnership. Perhaps you finally find a medical provider who actually listens, or connect with a treatment approach that fundamentally changes your trajectory. The Tower's energy ensures this won't be gradual improvement but sudden breakthrough - the diagnosis that finally explains everything, the treatment that actually works, or the specialist who sees what everyone else missed.
Mental and Emotional Health
Psychologically, this combination speaks to emotional crisis that either destroys or deepens relational bonds. Mental health challenges - depression, anxiety, trauma responses - function as personal Towers, shattering our sense of control and exposing vulnerabilities we'd prefer to keep hidden. The Two of Cups represents the relationships tested by this revelation. Does your partner stay when depression makes you difficult to be around? Do friends remain present when anxiety prevents you from showing up consistently?
The Tower's psychological impact often includes the destruction of the mask we present to others. When mental health crisis hits, we can't maintain the performance of being fine, functioning, or stable. This forced authenticity creates conditions where Two of Cups connections can deepen significantly - people see you in your full truth, not just your curated presentation, and choose to remain present. Relationships that survive this testing often become profoundly secure precisely because they've been proven under the worst conditions.
Alternatively, this combination can indicate that a relationship itself is the Tower - a connection that triggers psychological crisis by confronting you with truths you've been avoiding. Toxic relationships sometimes function this way, but so do therapeutic relationships. A skilled therapist creates a safe Two of Cups dynamic while deliberately disrupting (Tower energy) your defensive structures and maladaptive patterns. The relationship itself becomes the catalyst for psychological transformation.
For those in therapy or counseling, The Tower and Two of Cups suggests a breakthrough moment - the session where everything suddenly makes sense, the intervention that fundamentally shifts your perspective, or the confrontation with truth that you've been circling for months. The therapeutic alliance (Two of Cups) creates safety for The Tower's destructive-but-necessary work of dismantling psychological defenses that no longer serve you.
Spiritual and Personal Growth
Inner Work
Spiritually, The Tower and Two of Cups speaks to the destruction of ego structures that prevent authentic connection - with others, with the divine, or with your own deeper self. The Tower represents sudden awakening, the moment when spiritual bypassing or superficial practice is revealed as insufficient. The Two of Cups suggests this awakening occurs through relationship - perhaps through a spiritual teacher, a deep friendship that mirrors your shadow, or a romantic partnership that functions as your most rigorous spiritual practice.
The combination suggests that your spiritual evolution won't occur in isolation. The Two of Cups insists that connection is part of the path, not separate from it. Perhaps you've been using spiritual practice to avoid relationship, or using relationship to avoid spiritual depth. The Tower's lightning exposes this split, demanding integration. Your meditation practice must inform how you love; your loving must deepen your spiritual understanding.
This pairing often appears during dark night of the soul experiences that occur within relationship contexts. The Tower isn't just destroying your ego - it's destroying your relational ego, the identity constructed around how others see you and need you to be. The Two of Cups suggests that authentic spiritual partnership can only emerge after this false relational self has been shattered. You must risk being seen in your undefended truth, without the protective structures of who you think you should be.
For those on dedicated spiritual paths, this combination warns against the tendency to use spiritual community or teaching relationships as shelter from The Tower's necessary destruction. Spiritual bypassing - using practice to avoid facing painful truths - eventually summons its own lightning strike. The Two of Cups in spiritual context must be authentic, which means allowing your teacher, sangha, or spiritual partner to see and challenge your defenses, not just validate your existing perspective.
Life Lessons
The fundamental lesson of The Tower and Two of Cups is that authentic connection requires the destruction of false protection. We build elaborate defenses - emotional walls, social masks, strategic vulnerability - to prevent being truly seen and potentially rejected. These defenses feel protective but actually prevent the depth of connection the Two of Cups represents. The Tower's lightning doesn't give you the option of maintaining these structures while also experiencing authentic intimacy.
This combination teaches that crisis reveals rather than creates the truth of relationship. When The Tower strikes, the quality of your connections becomes immediately apparent. You don't have time to perform who you wish you were or maintain relationships through obligation. Crisis strips everything to essentials, showing you who remains present when you have nothing to offer but your raw humanity. These are your people; everyone else was networking.
There's also a lesson about the difference between connection and enmeshment. The Two of Cups represents balanced reciprocity - two whole individuals choosing to create something together while maintaining their sovereignty. But sometimes what we call partnership is actually codependence, where our sense of self is entangled with another person's approval or presence. The Tower destroys these enmeshed dynamics mercilessly, not because connection is wrong but because that particular form of connection prevents both parties from becoming who they're meant to be.
Finally, this combination teaches that some connections are meant to be temporary catalysts. Not every Two of Cups is a life partnership. Sometimes you meet someone whose sole purpose is to be present during your Tower moment - the friend who appears exactly when you need them, helps you through crisis, then naturally drifts away once you've stabilized. These relationships aren't failures because they didn't last forever; they're successes because they served their purpose perfectly.
Timing and Manifestation
The Tower and Two of Cups combination suggests rapid manifestation with dramatic timing. The Tower never announces itself politely or arrives when convenient. When asking about timing, this pairing indicates sudden developments - the relationship that begins or ends unexpectedly, the partnership opportunity that appears out of nowhere, or the crisis that erupts without warning.
In terms of manifestation, this combination warns against attempting to force or control timing. The Tower operates on its own schedule, responding to structural instability rather than your preferences. You cannot prevent or schedule the lightning strike; you can only ensure that your foundations - including your relational foundations - are built on truth rather than illusion. When the inevitable testing comes, authentic structures withstand; false ones collapse.
For those asking "when will I meet someone," The Tower and Two of Cups suggests "during or immediately after a period of personal upheaval." The timing won't feel right. You probably won't feel ready. But the connection will form anyway, emerging from chaos rather than calm. For those asking "when will this relationship issue resolve," the answer is "suddenly, probably through crisis that forces confrontation with truth you've both been avoiding."
The manifestation pattern here is destruction-before-creation. The Tower must complete its work before the Two of Cups' promise can fully emerge. Trying to build authentic partnership while false structures remain standing doesn't work - those old structures will simply contaminate the new connection. Full demolition must occur first, creating cleared ground where something genuinely new can be built.
Reversed or Blocked Energy
When The Tower or Two of Cups appears reversed in this combination, the blocked energy often indicates resistance to necessary destruction or refusal to acknowledge relationship crisis. The Tower reversed suggests you're aware something is fundamentally wrong but attempting to prevent the inevitable collapse. You're reinforcing failing structures, avoiding difficult conversations, or pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn't. This only delays and often intensifies the eventual breakthrough.
Two of Cups reversed alongside The Tower indicates the relationship itself lacks genuine foundation. What appeared to be balanced partnership may actually be one-sided, codependent, or based on fantasy rather than reality. The reversed Two of Cups suggests that even if you survive The Tower's destruction together, the connection itself may not be worth salvaging because it was never authentically reciprocal to begin with.
When both cards appear blocked or reversed, you're likely in denial about serious relationship dysfunction while simultaneously preventing the crisis that would force you to address it. This is the couple who refuses counseling while their marriage crumbles, the business partners who avoid financial reckoning while the company fails, or the friends who maintain superficial pleasantries while resentment builds to toxic levels. The blocked energy creates a pressure cooker - the longer you prevent The Tower's release, the more devastating the eventual explosion.
The remedy for blocked Tower and Two of Cups energy is radical honesty, even when it feels terrifying. Have the conversation you've been avoiding. Acknowledge the crisis you're pretending doesn't exist. Stop performing partnership and actually examine whether genuine connection remains underneath. This may trigger exactly the Tower moment you've been trying to prevent, but conscious confrontation with truth is far less destructive than waiting for reality to impose itself violently.
Guidance and Advice
When The Tower and Two of Cups appears in advice position, the message is clear: brace for impact, but don't run from connection. Crisis is coming or already here, and it will test your relationships severely. Your task isn't to prevent the Tower - you can't - but to remain present and authentic throughout the upheaval. Don't protect yourself by withdrawing from connection; that isolation prevents both the testing that reveals truth and the support that sustains you through difficulty.
For those in relationships, the advice is to choose radical transparency now, before crisis forces it. Have the difficult conversations you've been postponing. Acknowledge the issues you've been minimizing. Create conscious crisis rather than waiting for unconscious catastrophe. When you deliberately face truth together, you maintain some agency in how destruction unfolds. When you avoid truth until it imposes itself violently, you have no control over the process.
If you're single, the guidance is to do your Tower work alone before seeking partnership. Don't try to escape personal crisis through relationship, and don't avoid necessary destruction by distracting yourself with connection. The Tower must complete its work of dismantling false structures in your life and psyche. Only after this clearing can you recognize and receive the Two of Cups partnership that's appropriate for who you're becoming rather than who you were.
The combination also advises examining what you're protecting when you're afraid of loss. Often we cling to relationships or situations not because they're genuinely nurturing but because they're familiar. We fear The Tower's destruction because it means facing uncertainty, not because what exists is actually serving us. The Two of Cups promises authentic connection awaits, but you must release your grip on false security to receive it.
Practically, this combination suggests preparation: shore up your support network before crisis hits, establish emergency resources, and identify who you can genuinely rely on when everything goes wrong. Don't wait until you're in the Tower to discover who your people are. The Two of Cups connections that matter will prove themselves when tested, but you need to know who to reach for when you're falling.
Integration and Reflection
Integrating The Tower and Two of Cups requires accepting that authentic connection demands vulnerability you cannot control. The defensive structures we build - emotional walls, performance of strength, strategic distance - prevent both catastrophic hurt and profound intimacy. You cannot have the Two of Cups' depth while maintaining The Tower's walls. The lightning will either destroy those walls for you, or you'll never experience what lies beyond them.
This combination invites reflection on a challenging question: Are you more committed to comfort or to truth in your relationships? Comfort seeks to avoid The Tower, maintaining connection through unspoken agreements not to disturb fragile peace. Truth accepts that crisis will expose whatever exists beneath surface harmony, trusting that authentic connection survives testing while false connection doesn't. You cannot have both comfort and truth; The Tower ensures you must choose.
Consider the relationships in your life that have survived crisis versus those that haven't. Often you'll notice that the former were already built on solid foundation - genuine mutual respect, authentic communication, aligned values - while the latter depended on circumstances remaining stable. The Tower didn't create the difference between them; it simply revealed what already existed. This combination asks you to honestly assess which category your current connections fall into before crisis does the assessing for you.
Finally, integrate the understanding that some Towers are necessary for your evolution even when they destroy connections you valued. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and sometimes the most loving thing a connection can do is end when it's no longer serving both parties' growth. The Two of Cups represents the potential for partnership, but also the possibility that authentic relating sometimes means releasing each other rather than clinging to forms that no longer fit.
Conclusion
The Tower and Two of Cups stands as one of tarot's most psychologically demanding combinations, asking us to maintain open hearts while our worlds shake apart. This pairing promises no easy comfort - relationship crisis will come, partnerships will be tested, and what is false will be destroyed regardless of how much we valued it. Yet within this destruction lives profound possibility: the chance to discover which connections are genuinely strong, the opportunity to forge bonds in crisis that could never form in comfort, and the liberation of releasing relationships that were beautiful but ultimately built on sand.
When you encounter this combination, know that you're being asked to trust truth more than you trust stability. The Tower's lightning serves evolution, destroying what prevents growth even when the destruction feels like loss. The Two of Cups promises that authentic connection awaits on the other side of catastrophe, but you must walk through the fire to reach it. There are no shortcuts, no ways to maintain old structures while building new ones, no formulas for protecting yourself from transformation while still receiving its gifts.
The ultimate wisdom of The Tower and Two of Cups is this: What survives crisis was always real. What doesn't survive was always illusion, no matter how solid it appeared. Your task isn't to prevent the lightning from striking but to ensure that what you're building - in relationship, in partnership, in connection - is worth surviving the strike. Build on bedrock truth rather than convenient fantasy. Choose presence over performance. Risk being seen in your full humanity rather than curated presentation. When the Tower comes, as it always eventually does, these choices determine whether you face destruction alone or hand-in-hand with someone who chose to remain when remaining was hard.
The test is coming. The question is whether you'll face it with eyes open or closed, together or alone, defending false structures or accepting necessary destruction. The Tower and Two of Cups asks you to choose: Will you be shattered by crisis, or tempered by it into something stronger than you were before?